Somehow - against all the odds - South Park has reached its' 100th episode. By way of celebration, oxygen has put together a bunch of our favourite quotes ...

Eric Cartman
"I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"

"Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or Kenny's dad would be a millionare!"

"If some sissy chick tried to kick my ass I would say hey missy, go knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face!"

"Revenge is so very very sweet"

"Kenny's family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage."

"Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass?"

"Anyway Kenny, Yellow MegaMan is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments for a year or two."

"Respect my AUTHORITHAH!"

"Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000."

"Hey , why don't you stop dressing me up like a mail man,... and making me dance for you,... while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom,... and have sex with some guy I don't even know,.... on my dad's bed?"

"Speaking of pounding ass, here comes Stan's little homo dog."

"I'm trying to make the best out of a bad situation. I don't need to hear crap from a bunch of hippie freaks living in denial! Screw you guys, I'm going home."

"It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't stay here, or else it'll choke on the sweet air of freedom."

"I know why drugs are bad. If you do drugs you're a hippie. And hippies suck."

"You seem a little irritable Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina?"

"You so much as TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants!"

"I want some Cheesey Poofs."

"Ten dollar! Eight dollar! You give me eight dollar, soldier boy! Sucky, sucky, five dollar!" (Cartman as Ming Lee)

"You'll just be sitting there, minding your own business, and they'll come marching in, and crawl up your leg, and start biting the inside of your ass, and you'll be all like... Hey! Get out of my ass you stupid rainbows!..."

"Well, I've been lickin' this carpet for 3 whole hours and I don't feel like a lesbian..."

"Naw dude, Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding."

Kyle
"Dude, Cartman, look! Your mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!"

(aping his parents' giving out) "You know he can't think on his own, Kyle,... Brush and floss, Kyle,....... Where has that finger been, Kyle?"

Stan
"I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull."

"Wendy, you've got to prioritize. What's more important? Being on TV or some stupid assassination?"

(Stan's homework assignment on Asian Culture) "Asian culture has plagued our fragile earth for many years. We must end it."

"Pachump, pachewie chewie chump" (as Evil Stan)

Kenny
"Mmmfffmm, mffmm, mmmmfffmm, mffmmmm."

Tweek
"But what if I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?"

Chef
"Suck on my chocolate salty balls. Put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em"

"I'm gonna make love to ya woman."

"There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college."

"(in shock) Well I'll be a teenage girl backstage at an Aerosmith concert!"

"Damn, woman! I just gave you sweet loving five minutes ago!"

"You've got to hold the football like you would hold your lover. Gently, yet firmly. You wanna be both nurturing and clinging at the same time. Oh, yes. Just like making sweet love to the football. Be naughty with the football. Mmmm, spank it. Ever so gently. Spank it. Oh, uh, sorry, children. "

Mr Garrison
"Genetic engineering is man's way of correcting God's hideous mistakes, like German people."

"Oh, I'm through with Mr. Hat. He's a two-timing whore. From now on you'll be learning from Mr.Twig."

"No, that's wrong, Cartman. But don't worry, there are no stupid answers, just stupid people."

"A ladder to heaven, that's fuckin' stupid."

"Anyway, children, as I was saying, the Hare Krishna's are totally gay."

"Let's clear the air. We all know that pigeon was a whore. Raise your hand if you didn't sleep with that pigeon."

"Gay people, well, gay people are EVIL, evil right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?"

"Ok children, let's all gather around and bob for stupid apples now. You go first Bebe. That's good, just use those mouth muscles like the girls in Beijing."

Sexual Harassment Panda
"Did you know that when one little panda pulls on another little panda's underwear, that's sexual harassment? That makes me a sa-a-a-a-ad panda"

"And when one little panda puts his furry little willy in another panda's ear, that makes me a very saaa-aad panda."

"I get the point. I know when I'm not wanted. I'm off to the Island of Misfit Mascots."

Officer Barbrady
"This is nothing out of the unusual. Cows turn themselves inside out all the time."

"Keep your eyes peeled boys, someone's going to make love to this chicken any second now..."

"Well, you ain't Fiona Apple, and if you ain't Fiona Apple, I don't give a rat's ass."

Newscaster
"It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by wild boars and the world is still glad to be rid of him."

"The President responded to the situation by saying "Screw those commie bastards and screw their wussy space station."

"In other news, a pink eye epidemic is now sweeping the town of South Park. Here with a live report is a midget wearing a bikini."

Sports Commentator
"I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938."

"I haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant."

Mephisto
"Here is a monkey with four asses. And here of course is my four-assed ostrich and four-assed mongoose."

"Perhaps we shouldn't be toying with God's creations. Perhaps we should just leave nature alone to its' simple one-assed schematics."

Mr Mackey
"MKay"

"Okay, smoking is bad; you shouldn't smoke. And alcohol is bad; you shouldn't drink alcohol. And as for drugs, well, drugs are bad; you shouldn't do drugs. That's about wraps it up."

Stan's Mom
"Stan, what did I tell you about watching the Osbournes? It's going to make you retarded!"

Big Gay Al
"I'm super, thanks for asking."

Mr. Hankey
"Hidey Ho!"

"Gee, everything smells so nice and flowery..."

Santa Claus
(After gunning down an Iraqi henchman) "I couldn't do it. I couldn't let him live. He shocked Santa's balls."

Chief Runswithpremise
"We'll give them... blankets. But what they won't know is that these blankets will be infected with SARS. Now, everybody rub a Chinese person on the blankets."

Chef's Father
"Dammit, monster, I ain't givin' you no treefiddy."