How To shower like a women
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according 
to 
lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your 
boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to 
the 
bathroom.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut 
so 
that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, arm-cloth, leg-cloth, long 
loofah, 
wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added 
vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added 
vitamins.
7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced 
with 
natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes 
until red 
raw.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as 
you 
must make sure that it has all come off).
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to 
get 
it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and 
you 
lose the water pressure.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with 
Tilex.
15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African 
country.Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with 
nails/tweezers if found. 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing 
gown 
and towel on head.
18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any 
exposed 
and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

How To Shower Like A Man:

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them 
in a 
pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along 
the 
way, flash her making the "woo, woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut 
scratch 
your balls.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one)
6. Wash your face
7. Wash your armpits
8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner)
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
14. Pee (in the shower)
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the 
floor 
because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub when you checked 
your 
Mohawk.
16. Partial dry off.
17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size.
18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass 
your 
girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby" 
and 
thrust your pelvis at her.
21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dres